You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
