I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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