if i can run in heels then i can drive
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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