I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
