I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
