You just made me feel so damn special
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
