Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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