And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
