you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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