you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
