He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't turn off my feet"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
