She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Damn victory sex feels great
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
