Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is the high leading the old right now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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