Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
