How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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