:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
