haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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