is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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