Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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