I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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