she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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