Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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