we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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