I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
