I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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