Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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