How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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