Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
