when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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