her vagine was all disorganized.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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