btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
