Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
