My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
