Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
