2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
