We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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