I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
