she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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