OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
