my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ugly people sure do ruin things
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
