she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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