how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
