i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
