One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
