I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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