I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
