Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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