I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
