i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
