I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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